If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
