is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
