how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
