I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
God, I missed his penis.
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