she looked like the before picture.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
