eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
