Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
