we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
