i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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