He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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