marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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