My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
