dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
