i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
