My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
