I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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