about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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