I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
