I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
