yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
