Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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