where am i from again
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
