Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
