why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
