I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
