a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
