Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
