This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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