I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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