If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a beard to bite.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
