i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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