Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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