i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
