What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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