so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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