i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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