do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
