yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
