There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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