i already hear my dad disowning me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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