Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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