There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
