So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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