Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
