i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need to sanitize my soul.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
