He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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