Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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