I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
