if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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