your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
