Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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